Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize