do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im six kinds of drunk right now
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
