just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
