he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
