Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
