My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
