i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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