we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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