if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
