just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
