I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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