the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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