i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize