She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
