Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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