Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The power of my boobs compel you
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
