It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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