My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
did i walk over a car last night?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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