Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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