I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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