sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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