how can u be prego again
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
