high people should be assigned attendants
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
