half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
