I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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