I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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