im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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