we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
