Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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