I cockslap morals
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
