I am puke
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just gift wrapped bread.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
