I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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