if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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