ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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