please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
