if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize