Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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