I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
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I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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