someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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