Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
