I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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