I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
