this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
