and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
