Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Randomize
