How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
