Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
