Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize
