atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
