Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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