I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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