haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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