Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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