Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
God gave him joint rollers for hands
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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