taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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