once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
