Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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